of caves and cruises

30Oct07

I’d like to dedicate this post to my father, who has continually harassed me from the other side of the planet to update this blog. Without him, this post would not be possible. This one’s for you, Gussie.

For our post-jungle trekking excursion we were taken first to Skeleton Cave, which is about three hours from Sandakan. Skeleton Cave is a museum/heritage site that was used as burial grounds by the local tribesmen more than 500 years ago. The skeletons have all since been moved to guard against vandalism and animals but the coffins and carvings and various artifacts are still there and in surprisingly good shape. It’s called Skeleton Cave because the top caverns look like a skull and you can see it for miles. Now, you may recall the I had only just four days previously gotten over my altitude sickness from Mount Kinabalu so you can imagine my dismay when I realized that the caverns were not below ground, or even at ground level. They were around 11 storeys up some ridiculously steep and incredibly sketchy looking staircases. Essentially, it was just a huge rock and to get to the cavern with all the important tribesmen, you had to actually climb up the rock and over. I can only imagine how they managed to get the coffins in there, let alone themselves (the stairs were definitely worn, but I doubt they were around 500 years ago). Since it’s a sacred site, you’re not allowed to take photos and you’re not allowed in the cavern of the important tribesmen, but you are allowed to look in. You can explore as you wish in the other caverns, which is pretty great. There are lots of bats and birds so it’s very poopy smelling and poopy slippery (I just can’t seem to get enough poo) but the coffins and tools are just there for the touching. The people must have been tiny back then, the coffins are made of a tree trunk, split in half and hollowed out with decorative carvings all over. John, our resident guide, told us about his tribe that still lives in “tribal conditions” and how they’re all teeny as well. He was considered a giant when he was born and he stands less than an inch taller than me. He also told us all about headhunting and how up until 50 years ago, it was still done in his village. He was raised in his village to be a tribesman and a hunter, but when he was twelve and decided not to get married like the other kids the government came and sent him to a public school in Kota Kinabalu. So for the school year he would be in the big city, and for the summers he would be living in the jungle. Talk about trying to find a purpose in life.
After Skeleton Cave we drove for another hour or so down what I deemed to be Hell Road the Second (the original Hell Road being a terrible “shortcut” Alex and I took in high school, managing to simultaneously get stuck in the mud and run out of gas… don’t worry Dad, it was her car). Now, driving in Malaysia is scary enough on its own without encountering a Hell Road. This Hell Road was varying in size, between one and four lanes wide, and (for three hours straight) just a huge construction zone. But in Malaysia there aren’t any of those fancy stop sign twirling construction workers. In a lot of cases (including this one) there aren’t even any pylons or signs that warn you of upcoming construction, although we got the picture after the first four sites or so. Wow, it was very scary and vomiting inducing. Thankfully Karen, Alice and George took the bullet on this one and I was just feeling queasy. I do not bode well on dirt roads littered with large machines and speeding cars swerving to pass other swerving cars and avoid stray dogs (which are everywhere). Apparently I have some pent up frustrations about driving in Malaysia… but I digress. Eventually we show up at the second cave, which is the infamous Guatamatong Caves, known for the bird’s nests that make up bird’s nest soup (an expensive delicacy in Asia). Thankfully, this cave did not require us to walk up or down any terrifying stairs, but the smell (oh God the smell) was enough to make you rethink the decision. There was a fifteen minute walk from the information lodge and within ten minutes you could already smell it. The moment you could see the entrance to the cave (which was huge) it became stifling. It was like someone opening a bottle of terrible chemical stench right beneath your nose. Seriously, you could taste it and feel it burning your nostrils and throat and had to make a choice of which was the lesser pain to breathe through. Really, it was kind of funny. I looked at John at one point, no doubt with a grimace on my face because of the stench, and he just said, in his most monotone voice, “I come here over one hundred times every year”. Poor guy. Now, this cave is just huge and open so you walk in and around on this boardwalk and you can see the guys high above you getting the nests. The smell is just incredible and the boardwalk is slippery and black with poo. Funnily enough, so is the handrail. There were many a split decision made regarding whether or not to touch the handrail or just fall as we slipped around (it was a lot like watching people walk on a slanted ice rink… covered in poo). Oh, did I forget to mention Cockroach City and Bug Central? Well, not only did falling in the cave merit you with a fresh coating of bird poo and pee, but you would also get a chance to mingle with the multitudes of ‘roaches. There was even one spot (which I took a picture of, but it doesn’t really capture the full effect) that was just a moving wall of insects. Very gross. Anyhoo, not much else to say about the Guatamatong Cave. Very interesting, glad I went, would not go again. Would not pay $100 for the soup.
From here we got back in the car and drove another half hour or so to get to the Kinabatang river cruise jetty. Not your average river cruise. By now it had started to pour so we all put on our rainy bests and hopped in our 10-person outboard motor boats. Despite the pouring rain, I really enjoyed the river cruise. We saw tons of Probiscus monkeys and a water village or two and then we got our driver to take us down some “shortcuts”, which are those beautiful little waterpathways just wide enough for a boat to go through. Very jungle-y. Anyhoo, the cruise was about two hours, and afterwards we embarked back upon Hell Road the Second in the dark and somehow made it home alive.

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Tags: malaysia, sepilok, guatamatong, kathryn mccormack, kota kinabalu, kat mccormack